Hey everyone well yes it is true I am back but I still will be on my xanga. I realized tblog can be better in some ways plus my friends on here. So much to update on...well i will be 15 in a few days so I cant wait. I'm going to have a party so its going to be alittle weird because last time i had a party i was in like 5th grade...its a bit different because it has to be 'cool' lol. Well i missed everyone but i have to cut this short. muah!

Hey peoples well yea just wishin everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Lol well I'm not really lost......I was but not anymore. Anywaize......wow today was actually a good day! Yesterday was crazi but today was way better. I am soo frickin hyper rite now...Dr. Pepper seems to always do that. ha! Ok yea well tomorrow is a half a day so we get out at 12...thank god! We have to wear our ROTC uniforms which is craziness but yea. Sux huh?

So how's everything with sarah going? Shes being a puta once again. Ha proves shes a coward! I wanna tell her off soooo bad!! I think I will....hmmm you never know. Well yea this is it for now so leave me some luv! j.p ok well bye =D

Ok well I got a new favorite song but the song is kinda old. Here are the lyrics!

JIMMY EAT WORLD LYRICS

"Pain"

I don't feel the way I've ever felt.
I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.
And better now
Anyone can find the same white pills.
that take my pain away.

[Chorus]
It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are hurried times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me.

I never thought I'd walk away from you.
I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
Everytime time I quit

Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.
but it takes my pain away.

[Chorus]

[Guitar Bridge]

I can't let it bother me.

[Guitar Solo]

It takes my pain away.

[Chorus]

Yesterday I finally talked to sarah about how she was acting. She was like all in smiles and crap and it ticked me off because we've been arguing and saying all this crap to each other and she even commented how I couldn't bring anything cuz I'm just so scared yet I confront her and she's all giggly. Shows how much a coward she if you ask me. Anyways, we were both immature about the whole thing and I admited that. She had a hard time admiting she was. She told her dad about everything and her dad said it wasn't nice of us to be criticizing her. Ha but I bet she didn't tell him the part where she called me a spic and told me to go back to my island did she?! It just gets me so mad when people do that and to think I thought she was my best friend. I feel soooo stupid =/ Well we live and we learn....

We agreed we'd let it go but when I log on AIM later and look at her profile she's already writing about me again. It wasn't as bad but it was still trying to start something. To me it feels like I'm the one who should be all mad. I mean I didn't even say anything bad to her shes the one who backstabbed me. I thought I could trust her but I guess not. Hey but its happened before. I'm beginning to get to the point where I can't trust anyone...its like I can't tell them a thing without them using it against me in the end. I feel soo used lol so forgive me if I sound all whiny. I'm just so pissed! Plz leave me comments I'm running outta things to say

My good friend, Sarah, and I got in this big arguement over nothing really if you ask me. I mean yea it was a big thing but in a way not really. See what happened was my friend Hope decided she didn't want to be friends with her anymore..which she had every right to. Well I made it clear that I did not want to be brought into it and I did my best not to. Well next day after it was made final they weren't friends I got on AIM and was talking to Hope. She asked if I could come out after she finished her homework so I said sure. So I got off did my daily things and then got back on. Well then sarah asks me to go on a bike ride and I say no....fine. But then later she gets back online and she like keeps asking me to come over and I told her everything about how I promised hope. So she ignored me, put up an away message, and frickin just blew me off just like that. I mean its already hard enough that I'm trying to be the best friend I can to both of them but sarah kept making it hard. So I signed off and headed out to meet Hope but then I decided to call Sarah and see why she blew me off like that. She answered and she was like ' is this samantha? well I'm busy bye!' The way she said she sounded all mean and stuff. So I figured she was mad but honestly I really didn't give a damn. I'm tired of her crap  and plus she thinks its always about her...no lie! So I went outside for awhile. I get on later and she writes all this immature crap like.....

kerry sucs!! and so does everyone who likes them * bush won for a reason cuz he rocks!!!! in yall damn kerry fans faces cuz u know what he lost!!!! lost!!!

She writes that in her profile and she wrote some really useless immature crap in my guestbook. I guess she thinks shes getting me mad and I bet it seems that way but honestly its not. I don't care because it only makes her look low down and immature. Funni thing is she called me and my friend Hope 'immature mean...' in her AIM profile. I laughed my ass off! I could really use a friend right now so plz plz plz comment. Thanx =D

I really want to hear people's opinions on things. So please tell me how you feel about the following topics because I'm really interested in hearing different sides on things.....

.SUICIDE.

.TEEN PREGNANCY/PREMARITAL SEX.

.ANIMAL ABUSE.

.SCHOOL UNIFORMS.

.REVENGE/VENDETTA.

.TEEN VIOLENCE.

.PRESIDENT BUSH AND THE WAR IN IRAQ.

I know where I stand on these but I want to hear your side so please pick a topic or 2 and lemme know what you think!

I'm tired of writing about myself so I wanna know what your most embarrassing moment was. I've had a lot but the most embarrassing was when I was over at my friend's house and then her brother and sister came in and snatched a note off her desk. Well of all notes it happended to be the note about me liking her older brother. I was soo embarrassed because they came in the room and were all like 'who is sam?' She just had to say it was me! I went home I was soo pissed. Lol thank god he wasn't there at the time or I would've died!

So whats the most embarrassing thing that ever happened? Please share people I want to hear!

When I got home earlier I found out my grandma is going to be fine. Thank god for that! Today in NJROTC we had inspection and I made a 10! yay!

Ok well in case you haven't noticed I am writing about just about anything. SO please leave comments and I am going....lol I feel dumb. Ok well bye bye!

Earlier in the week my friend sarah and I got in an arguement over something...long story! Well my friend hope also got a little upset over the whole situation and even before she was mad at sarah so I think we all really needed to talk. So what we did was got together and talked about things that bothered each other about one another. (confusing =P) Well I have to admit I feel it really worked. We got through to each other and talked out our problems. Since then I feel like I can tell them anything ya know? So if you and a friend are having a problem just sit down with them and let them know. If they're a good friend....they'll listen!

Ok changing the subject....I'm finally getting bak to my normal self. I'm not failing math anymore and I feel like I'm doing really well in all my other classes. I'm making even more friends than 1st semester with people I never thought I'd be friends with. Well thats it for now I have to go and get ready for a football game. GO RAIDERS!! Leave em for me =D

Ok please tell me if what I did was wrong.....on Halloween my friends and I wanted to get together and watch some horror movies. My friend sarah decided at the last minute that she didn't want to come. That ticked me off because Hope and I will watch movies anytime she wants to see them even though we've both seen them a bunch of times. I even watched Scary Movie 3 even though I've seen it over 5 times. I didn't have to but I did. Last nite I confronted her about it in a nice way....NICE WAY......and she got pissed. I got mad so I said she was acting immature and told her to grow up because at that time she really was acting really immature. But even before that she's been acting really weird. She complains I act bitchy a lot now and I don't know why. In her AIM profile she wrote...

.....theres sum things i dont get. when i have to good friends and one nite they wanna watch sum  movies but i decide that i dont want to cuz im not in the mood does that make me a bad person? well to one of my so called friends im bad and all of the suden i turn into a immature person and a bad person thats what i dont get-so what if i didnt wanna watch sum movies im still the same person and that does not change who i am im still Sarah~ not n-e one else~ i reAlly think that my "2 friends" need to grow the hell up ok its sum god damn movies other times!

Those 2 friends shes talking about is Hope and I. I'm the one she refers to as "so called friend." Was I wrong? Its just she can be so unfair sometimes and friends don't do that. Why all the drama?!

Some people are seriously taking the elections way too far. I been a situation where my friends and I have gotten into some serious arguements over them. Its so stupid! My mom was telling us about this guy who put electrical things that shock people who try to touch his sign and this one guy almost killed his girlfriend because she voted for Kerry. I mean talking about it now and then is cool but getting in fights and crap over it is pathetic. Someone is going to win whether you like it or not!

Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to freedom of speech!? If you've heard Eminem's new song 'Mosh' you'd know what I meant. He says 'F**k Bush' and '....Let the president answer a higher anarchy strap him with an Ak-47, let him go, fight his own war let him impress daddy that way..' except if you've heard the actual song they edit it out. Whatever happened to freedom of speech where you could speak how you felt without being criticized? Its not just with the elections though its with a whole lot of other things. Its crazy...whats going on!? Please leave comments........I wanna hear opinions on this!

Earlier tonite my friends, jessica and sarah, and I went to the f-ball game at my school. Well sadly we lost by a lot. The breezers beat us bad =/ Well before all that we had our first pep rally today and it was pretty cool until the cheerleaders did this really gay routine..lol. Other than that it was pretty cool. Today was alright though. I finally switched out of my math class because I felt so lost. I feel so stupid but I know I needed to seriously get out of that class.

Lately I noticed I get irritated easily. My friends are even beginning to get to me....help!? Lol I am so tired now and I am really glad we have a 3-day weekend. I am seriously looking forward to it! Well please leave comments because lately no one has. Lol thanx =D

Last nite I went with my friends to see The Grudge and that movie was awesome! But thats my opinion...see I luv horror movies so they don't bother me really. I love getting scared! (I'm weird like that =D) All I'm going to say is I recommend those who luv horror movies and getting scared to go see The Grudge. Now on the otherhand if you don't like horror movies then DON'T GO! It may be too scary for you..................it even scared me at times. Well thats all I'm saying. Please comment!!

It seems every day people get a joy out of making me feel stupid and make me feel down on myself. Just yesterday I felt really good about myself and then I get to math class and find out I failed yet another test. My "friend" was making me feel bad because she was kept saying I did bad but that she didn't have to worry because atleast she didn't fail. Some friend! I feel so stupid sometimes that I wonder why god made me.....why did he make me? People get a joy out of making me feel down on myself and so stupid that I'm actually starting to  believe it. Whether its my friends or even my family they've all done it once or twice. Everyday I get called 'stupid' or 'retard' by my brother or 'can't you do anything' by my mom and dad. Well I guess I can't and its not my frickin fault. My family and friends are good to me just sometimes I wonder what provokes them to do that crap. That not the smartest people in the world themselves yet they have the nerve to insult me. If they're trying to make me feel better about my grades and myself....why do they always make me feel down on myself? Oh yea I forgot....I'm stupid what do I know!?!?

Today I got back from my overnight trip to the USS Alabama. It was sooo much fun! I'll start from the beginning though......

Ok so after we left the school we were on the bus for about a 1 and a half...very uncomfortable! So my friend I was sitting with decided to move up a seat in front of me. I slept most the trip so no biggie. When we finally got there we went to our bunks and they were just a bunch of little cots held up by springs. They were very uncomfortable. Anyways after we dropped our stuff off we went onto the deck and did a little intro. and introduced ourselves. It was really cool. Turns out one of the sailors was from the Dominican Republic. Later that night we got talking and turns out she's from Providence just like me.....soo cool! After a scavenger hunt, competition thingy, and a knockout drill we headed to our bunks and got ready for bed. Some of us stayed up for Storytime....YAY! Lol it was cool because they told us stories about hauntings on the ship and all sorts of things. Then we went to bed which was very hard for me because everytime the AC turned on it made a loud noise. Imagine sleeping on a boat like this for 6 months!?  Today, before we came home, we did a timed scavenger hunt which was pretty fun. A few cadets starting getting angry with each other but it was all good. Finally we left and headed to the Walmart area and ate there. We broke up into teams and then went to eat. I ate at firehouse subs which was really good! Then my group went to Walmart and walked around for alittle bit. Then we headed out to the bus and went to school. Alittle bit before school was out my mom called and said she'd be there in like 30 minutes! I really had to go to the bathroom too so I was ticked. Not only that but this stupid asswipe guy who thinks he's tough shit was being all mean with me and giving me death glares just because I talked on the cell phone during announcements. I was there for awhile waiting which wasn't too bad. It was pretty cool actually. Well thats it for now.....plz leave me comments! =D

Today was ok because we took a math test and for once I actually knew what I was doing. It was same ol same ol just like every other day. When I got home I did my homework and went outside and it was soo funni. Ok lately these 2 kids about my age, from up the street come over in my area and they pegged my friend sarah and I with volleyballs and stuff....long story! Anyways today we got back at them by just watching them while they played tennis. For awhile we were just sitting there staring at them and then soon we started playing like we were sport reporters. We were all saying crap like 'a frickin cripple could've hit that!' or 'damn they suck!' It was soo funni. Then they started throwing balls at us and stuff so my friend picked one up and threw it and it hit one of them in the balls. It was soo funni. I got pegged in the face once but they hit sarah a lot more. It was fun though I gotta admit that.

Well I won't be blogging for awhile for two reasons....I have to really start studying and stuff and for the next day and a half I'll be in Mobile on a ship! Its gonna be so much fun because the ship we're staying is supposedly haunted....creepy =D When I get bak I will definitely blog about it. Well this is mainly my day so leave me a comment!